Breath in, out. In, out.
My phone gave a sharp ring. Shit! It was Colton. Why did he always call at times like this? I looked down at my singing phone and sighed: not knowing whether I wanted to talk. I made my mind up. I slowly drew my finger towards the 'end call' button.
It gave a tiny beep before the screen turned black again. I didn't want to talk to anyone. Not even that sexy beast...
A loud banging at the door made me jump, every thump only making my head ache more. Above the noise pounding was a women's voice. High pitched and crow-like. I rolled my eyes and turned the lock on the toilet door. I created a small gap, just big enough for me to see through, I saw the withered old face and groaned.
" What mum?" I whined " I didn't do anything... recently"
" Nothing, you have just been in there for a while now. Whats happening in there?" she tried to peer through the small gap in the door. Her eyes scrunched up and straining. It was obvious she couldn't see. Her eyes turned cold; colder than usual. " What have you been doing? and what do you mean 'recently'?"
"err, nothing" I said quickly " I will be right out, promise..."
we shared an awkward look for a second before mum began to talk again
"well," she stuttered "then-"
I closed the door before she could continue. I wished I could see her grumpy old face as the door was closed in her trap, I knew that it would be just as satisfying as I would imagine. I picked up my bag Orange and pink with red swirls on it man I loved that bag, and the blue-stick and wondered toward the door. I looked left and right, making sure I would not get confronted. Again. I slipped across the hallway, straight into my room I slammed the door behind me and slipped down the wall until I came to a stop at the floor. I wept. Every tear that rolled down my cheek ended up in a puddle at my feet. My make-up was ruined. My life was ruined.
A little while later I became conscious. I heard mother screaming my name and smelt my father burning lunch. Which I admit is a great achievement, I mean who else can burn cabbage?
I unlocked the door. My eyes met my mothers and she scowled. She looked me up and down. Probably trying to identify the difference in my appearance, she didn't succeed. She opened her mouth,
"lunch" was all she said. But she didn't need to say much else. Her voice was always dark and witch like, filled with the disappointment of me. It has been like so for the past year, she seemed to think of me as rude; evil and rebellious. Just plane nasty. I hadn't changed, my mother had.
I walked down the stairs and sat at the table. It was not long before the parents began nagging and hissing " Elbows off the table" "stop eating like a pig" "don't play with your food" "stop being disgusting"
I couldn't take any more. I stood abruptly and walked away storming up the stairs and slamming the door. It slammed and for that split second the house shook. I looked up at the light in my room; shaking frantically and making an elegantly irritating noise.
It did not take long for my mother to follow. She opened the door, and poked her head around the corner
"what was that!?" she yelled "was that the way to act? NO it was not. Why can you not be more like your brother? he was always good, polite and look at him now, a priest, in a church. Why can't you have aspirations like him? you should be more like him" she sighed
I looked up at her. I wanted nothing more than to cry. I didn't. I was always compared to my brother. Mother must have seen this because her face softened. I was almost shocked by this. She began to sit down, when her bottom touched the bed I heard a crack. I cringed. Mother looked back at me. A wave of shock came over her face. I considered that she may not react: she may understand... I couldn't have been more wrong. She sat up and picked the snapped object: a blue pregnancy test.
" what is this?!" she fumed "how could you!? getting pregnant! you are only young! you should be ashamed you are a disgrace to the family! what would the neighbors think!? you slut!"
" hey! it's not my fault. And I am not a slut! mum why can't you just accept me? I just want you to love me!"
" no, " her expression became friendly " we can go to the doctors, they can sort it out, get rid of it" she whispered
"NO!" I screamed " I am keeping it! I am not killing a harmless baby"
" Not in this house Hun'"
"FINE" I stormed out of the door and down the stairs. Out of the front door I ran. I didn't know where to go. I had nowhere to go. Just away. My feet were killing me but I did not stop. Every step sending a pulse of pain through my body. I would not stop until I was as far away as possible. The sun was replaced by blackness and my eyes began to shut. I fought it; I fought it with all I had left, but I fell asleep all the same.
I awoke the next morning in the middle of a wood. Surrounding me. Every one of their spindly fingers pointing at me every animal glaring and scowling. I had to get out of here. As I stood I felt a kick. I gasped, the baby, it just kicked! I felt so happy, more so than in years. As I progressed on my journey the kicks became harder and harder.
The sun seemed to be getting closer and beads of sweat were on my face. I was beginning to lose all hope when I heard a voice: many voices and cars. A city!
It didn't take long for me to find an ideal hotel. It was cheap, and they never said a word about my belly. I liked that
Before I knew it the baby was due. I pushed for hours, dealing with the panicked screams of cleaners and guests, every one drawn by the horror of it. My mind was telling me to give up however I listened to my heart, I carried on pushing. Eventually after what seemed like hours I heard the small cries of my baby. Her cries a tune in my ears. I looked around at the crowd assembled around me, Many were trying to hold back the tears I knew were forming and one woman was being treated for fainting. How I loved my new baby girl, she would be the only thing in my world, and I would love her for all I was worth.
